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Ladiesssssss, for fucks sake, back your fucking face up from the camera. Jesus christ it’s like you’re screaming through the photo “AM I PRETTY ENOUGH YET?’ Like damn, we all know your face, we don’t need a close up of that shit.

im still exhausted from beating all the other sperms


when people complain that a woman’s bra is showing



growing up sucks because you realize $1000 isn’t a lot of money


#AirplanePickUpLines : nice legs what time do they get the fuck off the back of my chair


i was pretending to eat my soup with my chopsticks and the japanese chef looked at me and said “this is why we hate white people”


fun-size candy bars aren’t fun after you’ve eaten 37 of them

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